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The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, by Elaine N. Aron
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Amazon.com Review
Are you an HSP? Are you easily overwhelmed by stimuli? Affected by other people's moods? Easily startled? Do you need to withdraw during busy times to a private, quiet place? Do you get nervous or shaky if someone is observing you or competing with you? HSP, shorthand for "highly sensitive person," describes 15 to 20 percent of the population. Being sensitive is a normal trait--nothing defective about it. But you may not realize that, because society rewards the outgoing personality and treats shyness and sensitivity as something to be overcome. According to author Elaine Aron (herself an HSP), sensitive people have the unusual ability to sense subtleties, spot or avoid errors, concentrate deeply, and delve deeply. This book helps HSPs to understand themselves and their sensitive trait and its impact on personal history, career, relationships, and inner life. The book offers advice for typical problems. For example, you learn strategies for coping with overarousal, overcoming social discomfort, being in love relationships, managing job challenges, and much more. The author covers a lot of material clearly, in an approachable style, using case studies, self-tests, and exercises to bring the information home. The book is essential for you if you are an HSP--you'll learn a lot about yourself. It's also useful for people in a relationship with an HSP. --Joan Price
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Review
“I wept through almost every page of this book out of sheer self-recognition. To say this book changed my life would be an understatement. I am forever grateful to Elaine Aron.”--Alanis Morissette, singer, songwriter, activist"This remarkable book...gives a fresh perspective, a sigh of relief, and a good sense of where we belong in society." --John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"Elaine Aron's perceptive analysis of this fundamental dimension of human nature is must reading. Her balanced presentation suggests new paths for making sensitivity a blessing, not a handicap."--Philip G. Zimbardo, Ph.D., author of Shyness: What It Is, What to Do About It"Enlightening and empowering, this book is a wonderful gift to us all."--Riane Eisler, author of The Chalice and the Blade
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Product details
Paperback: 251 pages
Publisher: Broadway Books; Reprint edition (June 2, 1997)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0553062182
ISBN-13: 978-0553062182
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
1,054 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#963 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
none
This may be the best book I have read in years. Maybe a decade. I was a year and a half into a very stressful job with a bully boss when I found this book -- I'd heard about it for years but thought the title sounded girlie and wimpy so I hesitated to read it. I don't like gooey, emotional, sappy stuff. Well guess what... no sap here. Or at least so little sap that a person who doesn't like sappy didn't really notice. Instead I found a smart, astute, science-based book which explained to me why I was slowly dying at my job, why I could not sleep at night, and why I was so stressed at work that I literally could not stomach my sandwich at lunch but would almost throw it up every day (but I could eat at home) -- I was operating at a level of physical stress which was impossible for a highly sensitive person to sustain, and yet I was somehow sustaining it. (I am very stubborn.) Once I actually looked at myself, looked at my actual situation, stopped blaming myself for being "weak" and "broken" and "not tough enough" and stopped trying to be what I am not, I saw clearly that I was ignoring my physical body's symptoms of extreme stress and hurting myself bad. Reading this was a wake up call at a time in my life when I really needed it, and gave me enough confidence to finally stand up to my impossible to please, bullying, manipulative boss and just quit. I am going back to school and retraining to become a software developer so that I can work in an environment that won't kill me. Not everyone is the same; everyone has different physical tolerances. If you find yourself "too sensitive" etc, give yourself a break. You are not a clone of the extrovert next to you. Pay attention to your body and read this book. IF YOU ARE AN EXTROVERT, PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. If you are NOT highly sensitive, please read this book!!! I wish to God every human being would read this book so people could finally start understanding each other, and society in general would stop hurting those among them who are not built with the same nervous system that the 80% majority of humanity has!!!! This has nothing to do with race boundaries, religion, nationality... this is all about pure genetics and how our species (in fact how over 100 species on this planet) function. It's ground breaking work.
I'm actually only partway into this book and wow. Wow. WOW. If you're reading my review right now and you've never heard the term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) before, stop right now, open a different tab, and google it. Read stuff for a few minutes. If anything you've googled resonates, BUY THIS BOOK IMMEDIATELY. Basically the author is the primary source for most of what you'll read online, and she has a very pleasant to read way of laying out the research and making it clear what things we know about HSPs and how and why we know them... it's like reading a well-organized textbook written by a friend you like. 15%-ish percent of us were born with brains that process this way, and if you're one of us, knowing about it will save you a heckuva lot of therapy, stress, and self-loathing.
I have always been sensitive. No, that is wrong. I prided myself as being NOT sensitive for years. To the point of disconnecting from my emotions. It took me a long while to come to terms with being an HSP (highly sensitive person). For anyone who is, I recommend this book. It is an illuminating look at the personality type of being an HSP and shows that being sensitive isn't such a bad thing. I've bog eared, highlighted passages, and put page markers all over it.If you think you are an HSP, or realize that you are one this is the book for you and it has helped me to not pathologize myself and to embrace who I am again.
This book is a mess; I found it to be largely fluffy non-sense based on loose generalizations with no scientific backing. I am a HSP, but this book is a complete joke. I am absolutely shocked there are so many good reviews.This book was a waste of time and should not have been written in its current form. The author should have waited until these claims could have been better substantiated either by more scientific studies/evidence or by coherent clinical experience rather than wild, all-over-the-place generalizations and annoying stereotypes. And the entire book could have been condensed down to 3 pages.
This book provides insight into some of the many questions as to "why" 20% of us experience life so differently from the majority who set the norms in our society. The HSP's trait allows us to process input from our five senses so deeply and thoroughly that we require a different optimal balance of "in" and "out" time in society to reach our highest potential without over-stimulation and/or burnout. The other 80% whose traits process less intense depth, detail and stimulation from their senses tend to value the more assertive/aggressive behaviors therefore they often misunderstand the HSP's need for quiet reflective time as a sign of timidity. The Warrior Kings (80%) need the Royal Advisers (20%) to point out the benefits and/or consequences of an action...and so much more.
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